The “Coffee Filter” Brain

“Hold that thought.”

We say it all the time… to kids in classrooms, in therapy sessions, at the dinner table. For a child with ADHD, those three words can set off a whole internal storm. And, this doesn’t only apply to kids. Adults have been known to erupt, too, when asked not to interrupt.

Today, we are reflecting on words shared by Polina Shkadron (trauma-certified SLP with 15+ years of experience) in our Bright Conversations podcast episode that helped put it all together.

The ADHD brain has a really hard time filtering information. Think of it like a coffee filter where only certain things are supposed to pass through. For neurotypical brains, filtering happens automatically. For the ADHD brain? It’s still figuring out what do I hold onto, and what do I let go?

When a child blurts something out mid-lesson, they’re not being rude or defiant. We think it is so important to view it from THIS lens. They genuinely believe if they don’t say it right now, it will disappear forever. When they’re told to wait, they often can’t hear another word because their entire mental energy goes toward not losing that thought.

So what is a sustainable solution? The fix isn’t telling them to “hold on.” It’s building a plan before the moment arrives. Arm them with sticky notes to jot down their ideas, or maybe a quick symbol, or a signal with their teacher. Kids need a plan, something that tells their brain: this idea is safe now.

The truth is, this strategy is not perfect, and there will be moments when a thought does get lost. When that happens, it is okay to offer a simple acknowledgment like, “I know that idea mattered to you, and I’m sorry it slipped away.” This will strengthen your connection and will go further than any consequence ever could.

For practitioners and parents: The next time you feel the urge to say “hold that thought,” ask yourself, does this child have somewhere safe to put it first?